Saturday, March 19, 2011

Outlook

Today, as I start my day, I am trying to put a positive spin on everything. Somedays it is hard to do that, but I make the choice to be positive. Personally, I beleive that being happy and being positive is a choice. You can decide as your feet hit the ground every morning. You can tell yourself, to see the goodness around you, or you can find fault with things. I am not saying to put on a false smile and forget responsibility or your worries. What I am saying is that you and you alone can look inward, and outward, and just be happy that you are here. The alternative stinks.
I have moments of sadness, and moments when I ask why I have been dealt the cards that I have. I am not always "Mrs. Mary Sunshine."
In this writing, I am trying to convey the overall attitude that I have tried to develop over the years.
One of my freinds had a great quote, and I apologize for not remembering who it was originally from, but my friend, Nance commented, "Happiness is a habit....." That hit home for me. I realize that we can't always be the happiest people in the world, but if we make it a habit, we can continue it for the most part. It is like taking a familiar route to the grocery store, or to work, or to a freind's home. We make it a habit.
A few years ago, as many of you know, I was a mess. I was deep in the pits of sadness, questioning why and so much more. Then something happened. I woke up one morning and said, all the the "stuff" that makes me unhappy isn't important. I looked around me, I was thankful for the fact that my husband was with me, that my children were well adjusted and loving human beings, and I decided that this was important, that this is what happiness is made of, the people around you that you love, the simple things.
After having a brush with serious illness, and living with the knowledge that it could all be over tomorrow, the reality wakes you up. End of story. As a family we could have wallowed in self pity, railled against the fates and been the angriest people in the world. Yet, somehow, even though the anger was and is still there, I looked beyond it, I realized that we still had each other at those moments. I realized that no matter what, our very lives depended upon our attitudes. I am not saying that we just pasted the smiles on and pretended. We made life "normal" for our children, we carried on. We woke up each morning, we got them ready for school, sent them to school, helped with homework when necessary, ate dinner together, did activities with them, and continued that every day. When Scott was in the hospital, the kids spoke to him via telephone every day, the boys were old enough to visit, and we took the train in to the city to see him, once a day. It was important for the kids to be able to continue their routines. It was important to break the routine and take them to see their father.
With routine, we move through life normally. With routine, we develop habits. Make outlook a part of the routine. Wake up in the morning with the attitude that you will find some good in the day.
Start small, think big. Dream of things for you, your husband, or your children. Laugh at something silly, even if it doesn't seem appropriate. Smile when you hear a baby laugh. When bad things happen, see the good on the other side. If you get a huge bill in the mail, look at it and see how to make it smaller. Ask yourself how to make it better, you will be able to, one step at a time.
I beleive the key to happiness is taking small steps, eventually the small steps add up to one big step.
Do I have the same dreams I had 20 years ago? No. Did I realize all of those dreams? No. Do I enjoy SOMETHING every day? Yes. Do I know that sometimes everything you wish for cannot be? Yes. Does that make me unhappy? No. Are there days when I regret not realizing all of my dreams? Of course, but the key is not to wallow in that feeling. Reality is that not everything can be handed to you or worked for. Reality is that we are ever evolving beings, times change, economy changes, circumstances change, health changes. Dreams don't always come true, that is for Fairy Tales.....and we can't live in a Fairy Tale, then we would be shattered people all of the time.
SO find your happy moment, look at your day and see that it is good to have sunshine, it is good to see a child smile, it is good to say hello to your friends. If you can find a little thing that makes you happy, you have won!

2 comments:

nance said...

Well thank you for my reference, we all need each to keep us focused and energized. You will be healed inside it is work in progress just like Scott's illness and his recovery all a work in progress. I wake each morning eyes not open to see your morning vibe.
hugs n kisses from the distance only in perspective feel like you are right here!

Miki said...

Thanks, Nance....you are right, a work in progress. There are times when I need that reminder...today is one of those days...most of the time I write what I do to remind myself that my mood is just artifical, and that it will move on if I make it go! That is where the morning vibe comes from. Hugs and kisses right back at ya, and yes, the distance is only there if we let it be! Love you, my friend!