Coffe on a Friday Afternoon

As I sit here on a chilly Sunday morning, sipping my coffee, I often wonder about the Starbuck's monkies. I worked in a 7-ELeven when I was in college. I worked a tough shift, so I know about folks and their coffee. I know that on break, lunch, on the way to a shift or from a shift, it is important for people to get that caffine or coffee fix. I get it. Now that being said, I wonder, quite often, why would you need to monkey around with that great cup? Is it necessary to foam this or whip that or add this flavor shot or swirl in a little bit of these bits, or how about ice it all?
When did a small, medium or large need to have fancy names? I just want my coffee, half and half, no sugar, on the light side. How does one go in to the Starbucks and order such a simple thing? I try, I really try, but I guess I am not trendy. Our local Target store has a Starbuck's right in it. I always think that I am going to go there to order something and get away with not looking foolish, afterall, I am shopping with the fellow jean clad parents and the like, we aren't "cool" anymore. I walk up to the counter on Friday, look at the fancy board, and figure, what the heck? How strange can one of these concoctions be? Let me see, let me see...."Hi, Welcome to Starbuck's, How may I help you today?" Almost shouted at me by the perky uniformed "barista." "Well," I say,"I am not so sure what to order here......" SHe rolls her eyes ever so patiently, like she is rolling a phrase around in her head....I stand there another minute, feeling the pressure of her gaze and the coworker's gaze upon me. ANd WHam! Up behind me walks a bohemian looking young guy in a pony tail....."Damn," I think, "Now, I really look like an idiot!"
"Oh," I say outloud, " I guess I will have your equivalent of a medium Cafe Mocha." "With Whipped Cream," she smiles thru her bizzare party line gaze. "Why, yes, that sounds fine," I say with my fixed expression. A few seconds later it comes across the conter, in a cup, with a lid and one of those paper protectors slipped over the cup. I paid for it, almost $4 to be exact. I saw the steam rising as she was pouring it, but, by the time I walk to my car, it is luke warm. Mind you, I wasn't parked miles away, it was about a minute and a half walk from the counter to the car.
But anyhow, I taste it, luke warm though it is, and guess what? It is a hot chocolate, that is what it tasted like to me, a $4 hot chocolate! Why didn't I just go to Dunkin Doughnuts' or 7-Eleven and buy one for half the price, go home and add my own whipped cream and live happily ever after? I guess that, like I said before, I wanted to be trendy, I wanted to be hip, I wanted to be part of the Starbuck's drinking, jean clad crowd that shops at Target! How did I get to be so uncool?