Sorry, Let Me Clarify

After a year and a half, I find that sometimes results to bloood work are a let down. I am very happy that Scott's results are what they are, and I am greatful to have him in one piece at this point. But the reason that I sounded mixed this morning, is that I really wanted a more conclusive result to the second stem cell transplant. Scott's cancer isn't cureable. There just is no cure for it, there are many options for treatment, and managability, but there is no cure. He has Multiple Myeloma, a plasma cancer. It eventually will flare up again, we just don't know when. It could be tomorrow, it could be next week, it could be next year, it could be in a few or in many years, but he will always always always have the disease. It isn't known where it comes from, or how he "got it." That is why the anger came out this morning. It is just frustration, pure and simple, and I don't know where to go with that.
When we started this journey, we decided that the kids would know what the disease was, and our protection mode went into the forefront. We never said the "C" word for a good month. We were afraid that the kids would make reference to both of my parents. My father died of stomach and esophogeal cancer, and my mother lost her eye to an unknown type of cancer, one that even the most advanced lab in the country couldn't pinpoint the type. So that was that, until the oldest approached me and told me that Scott had cancer and that he knew because "CHEMO" was a treatment for cancer. We held off telling the middle one that the word was waht he had, a few momre weeks. Cassidy is too young to understand that cancer si what he has and too young to understand the implications of it all, so she just knows that dad didn't work for a while and that he went to the doctor for special medicine. When she is old enough to grasp, she will be told the truth of the matter. That is where we are at as a family.
I would love to have someone find a cure for this thing, even an experimental one, so that we could try it on Scott. He intends to fight the great fight, that is what I meant about his being stubborn and pig headed. He will fight with all of his strength, and that is what has kept him healthy. SO thanks for the good wishes, Cliff and Britmum! I may just take you up on your offer deary, If you see a rather untanned New Yorker show up on your doorstep, It is me!