Spouting Off

With the tea water about to boil, this post will be short. You all know that Scott, my husband is going in for surgery in a little over a week. An update to that is that he must stop the Thalidomide, Biaxin and the Coumidin, 5 to 7 days prior to the surgery. The doctors have conferred and have agreed that this is a certantity. I am a little nervous about that too! Things are a little tense here too, I know he is nervous about the operation, about being so far away from his kids, they won't be able to visit him every day. I won't be able to either. As it turns out, Scott said that his parents would be able to take us to the hospital to visit whenever we needed or wanted to.............I don't think he discussed that with his folks. Last night his Mom called, and asked me what I decided to do about the day after the surgery and Thanksgiving Day, and even the day after that. ???????? I know they will take me in to Manhattan, if I ask, but I won't ask. It isn't fair to have to expect someone else to carry your burden, especially when they don't expect to. My mother in law asked me if my sister and brother in law were taking the kids and myself to the hospital on Thanksgiving. I told her that they hadn't offered. Not that I am complaining about my sister, she is and has been great throughout this whole thing, she takes the kids and watches them whenever possible, when Scott has chemo or an appointment,so I wouldn't expect her to offer. In fact my brother inlaw suggested that I take the train in and then get to the hospital from there. I could, but wouldn't do it with the kids, like I said before, I don't know a darn thing about the subway system, and I wouldn't subject my kids to my ignorance and mistakes, I wouldn't put them in that kind of "unkonwn" adventure like setting. Hell, let's face it, I am a scardey cat, and when it comes to my kids, well, that is where I am even more frightened. So, I will seem a cold hearted B word to the hospital staff, to my husband, but I will not do it alone, I just can't. I will stay at the hospital all day the day of the operation, but, if I can't get there until he gets home, then that is the way it needs to be.
I am not enjoying the way things are going right now. I feel a little more than alone, and like I said, I Can't ask others to shoulder the burden that I have, it is mine alone, and I am a grown adult, I have to figure it all out on my own.