YOU YOU

Ok, So, Britmum over at www.britmum.blogspot.com (all things English) did this and I thought why not. I always get tagged, but never do one for those important folks in my life. Let's see if I can get up to 50 with out thinking, and if I need more, can I use more numbers?????
It is a meme without talking about myself, talking about the "YOUS" in my life. Catherine made hers without using names, but I am not sure.....just remember, that these are in no particular order of importance. I will jot them down as I think of them.

1. you are important to me, because I share my entire world with you. I have seen you at your worst, you have seen me at mine. You are the strongest person that I know, and I will never, ever accept that I may loose you one day. I will always love what we have together.

2. you are the first of three. your smile lights up a room, and I am so glad that you are so confident in yourself. I am proud of you, and I will always love you, nothing can ever change that. you are my soul.

3. you are in the middle. you are the one that things hit hardest for. Your fear is concealed until you can't conceal it anymore. You are serious in everything that you do. I am proud of you and I will always love you, nothing can ever change that. you are my heart.

4. you are my last, the baby, the fairhaired little one. you came into our lives when we needed joy. you bring us all joy and laughter. I am proud of you and I will always love you, nothing can ever change that. You are my mirth.

5. you are my friend. you listen to me when I need you, you help me through the pain. you make me laugh, and you love me for who I am. you always have. I knew it, but you made me cry last year when you told me. The words struck me and I couldn't hold back the tears. I am greatful that you are in my life, and that you always will be. you are the glue that holds us all together as a group.

6. you are my oldest friend, you sometimes, don't understand everything, but you listen, and when you don't understand, you ask questions. I am glad that my kids call you "aunt."

7. you are my sister. One of the 4. You were always the closeset to me. Sometimes you annoy me, and sometimes you help me. There are times that our age difference makes you hand out advice like a mother to me, but you must remember that there are times that you aren't a mother, and your prejudgements and opinions aren't always what I need to hear. I love you anyway.

8. you are the sister who looks most like me. I wish that we were closer in living circumstances and in emotional connection. I would give you the world if I could. you are so worth it.

9. you are missed. almost 6 years ago you were taken from me. it was a difficult time and i wish you had gotten to see the baby. she would have been the apple of your eye, i promise. she makes us laugh and you would have laughed too. i hope that werever you are, you can see that she is loved.

10. you are his best friend. your life hasn't been a bed of roses, but you came through it with wonderful merits. your children and your wife are beautiful people. I am so gald that you are still in his life, like a brother to him.

11. you were a childhood friend, to him, you came through in the clutch. you didn't need prompting or prodding. you were there for him when you found out he was sick. that reconnection helped him know what was important in his life.

12.you are my friend, from high school. you came through and answered so many medical questions that i had when this whole illness started. It was so ubelievably comforting to know that you were still a caring, beautiful person. Nice to see you at Dickens Fest '06.

13. you are my good friend. you make me laugh, you make me cry. we learned to drink together and learned the lyrics to oh so many songs together. I am so glad that you found someone to share your life with, to treat you as you need and should be treated. I am a closet Barry fan too!

14. you are more than "in laws" I would walk to the end of the earth to help you in any situation. your love and acceptance of me was unconditional. you are the best grandparents that children could ever have, and my love was lucky to have the two of you for parents.

15. you are his brother. I wish you would see past your own stuff and come to his side. he needed your emotional support when he was going through chemo and the like. He hkew he couln't come to you and that it was about YOU. Someday you will need him, or want to talk to him, he may not be there, not emotionally, really. Think about someone else once in a while.

16. you encouraged me to start blogging. you were my very first commentor. It made me feel great that you were there. Wish that we could or would see more of each other. It is important.

17. you are the parent of both boys' best friends. we have found comfort in knowing that they feel so comfortable with you. It is like having an extra set of us down the street. wish you weren't selling that house, but I know we will remain in touch, and will continue to love each other's kids.

18. you are the first people in our neighborhood to make us feel welcome. When you came across the street with the bottle of champagne, it made us feel that we could be friends with you. I love that we did and still are friends with you. It makes me glad that there are folks who watch out for our kids, and who love them enough to do so.

19. you are more than the manager of a baseball team. your family is more than baseball aquaintences. you are chosen family. that is important. we choose to be close to you guys. My son looks up to you and loves to go to your house. The signifigance of this is incredible. He isn't intimidated or afraid of you, he loves and respects you.

20. you. who taught me what love ISN'T. I was never good enough, thin enough, sexy enough. you needed to get yourself straight. You needed to understand that it wasn't all about appearance, what things we had and how much money we made or spent. You wouldn't make me feel adequate around you. you need to answer this: WAS it all a big Joke? you taught me that i shouldn't give my heart so freely.

21. you taught me that it was ok to pour your feelings out on to a piece of paper. You called me a writer. you shared coffee and conversation with me, even when I didn't have you as a professor.

22. you taught me to have fun. you taught me that taking a class and fitting stereo types didn't go with the heart. We had fun in thatoly sci class didn't we?

23. you went your own way and turned out to be a grown up jerk. I used to protect you from your overprotective parents, I used to make it ok for you to do things when they didn't want you to. Now, we live in the same area, but don't really know each other, that is sad.

24. you were my first friend who was different. you were sophisticated, and urban. Those terms weren't even invented yet, but that is what you were. At 14 I didn't know any better than to follow you. I was stupid, and you thought when you moved back to the area, that I would "help" with homework and the like. I stood up to you, and as a result, it felt good. Manipulation was one of your strong points, sorry it was also what you used to try to be my friend, you lost that one.

25. (i'm 1/2 way there) you were my first openly gay friend. I loved you for what was inside, for the person that you were becomming. I love you now, because you have become a real 3 dimentional person, with a loving, active life. You lost touch with me for a while, let's not let that happen again.

26. I often wonder what happened to you, the artist. I really enjoyed spending time with you in 9th grade. I loved that you tried to show me how to paint, even though I didn't show much talent. You were kind to me when there weren't too many people in my life being kind.

27. our children(oldest) were friends as babies. we worked together. you threw away my friendship like a used dishtowel, and when I tried to retrieve it, you ignored it. Your loss.

28. you are my child's friend. you expect nothing from him, and you love him in your own way. I know that you are at an awkward age, where "love" can be misconstrued, but hold on to the feeling of friendship, it is precious, it is cherishabvble. To have a friend from elementarty school, and to keep that friend is special. It is something that you can always count on and a person who will be there forever. Nourish the friendship, not just for my son, but for yourself. When you move, we and your parents will always try to keep you two together. This you can count on.

29. I loved you when I was in the 7th and 8th grade. you were a ball boy at the us open.
did you realize that the "fat girl" even existed, or that she had feelings too?

30. you were mean to me in kindergarden. you continued your mean streak until you discovered boys in the 6th grade. I was happy that you found boys, but you were loose, even in the 6th grade. I wonder homany children you have and how many different fathers they have, or I wonder if you took the straight and narrow, you disapeared before we went to high school.

31. you substituted with me and we lost touch,only to reconnect again at a Weight Watcher's meeting. I know that you lost your mother around the time that my dad had his first operation, they were on the same floor of the hospital. I often wonder how you are and where you are.

32. you sat in front of me in mr dicarlo's English class senior year in hs. you were a football player, I had a wild crush on you. did you know?

33. you were born on the same day (exactly) as me. Our moms were friends. our dads were drinking buddies. you were nice to me in hs, because we shared the birthday. because we knew each other before it became apparent that we "shouldn't" associate with each other. I still remember that you wished me "happy birthday" on the school radio station, in the am announcements. About 4 or 5 years ago you commited suicide. Sorry I lost touch eith you and that it was that sad for you, in the end.

34. you were my favorite teacher in h.s. I had a crush on you and you came to my grad party with your family. I was impressed. I saw you a few years ago, I wasn't looking my best, my daughter was about 4 months old, but you stopped and said hi to me. thanks.

35. you were my sister in law. Legally, you aren't any more. In my heart, you always will be.

36. you were the bouncer at the door of a club that I used to go to. The law changed overnight, drinking age. I was a "frequent flyer" at the club with my then boyfirend. you would n't let me in the door. I still remind you of it everytime I see you. you are an associate of my husband's through his union. We do laugh about it now, don't we?

37. you were my math teacher in 10th grade. there were schedule problems, so i entered your class late in the quarter. i had difficulty catching up in math, you weren't very forgiving. I wanted to drop the class, but you kept "giving" me a 65, why? I tried and tried to grasp it, but it wasn't clicking!

38.you were my first "boss" at the job that I held the longest. I am glad. Some days if it weren't for you, I would not have gotten through. I am happy that we are still friends!

39. you are my beloved's aunt. I have much to look up to in you. You make me laugh, and you are great with kids. We are enriched to know and love you.

40. you are my husband's favorite uncle, shhhhh, don't tell. I enjoy talking with you and trading ideas. It is fun when you visit. Hubby feels good when he sees you.

41. you are my uncle, you look most like my dad. It pains me sometimes to see you, because of that. I love you anyhow though.

42. you are my nephew. you were lost to us at 25, two years ago, almost. you share a birthday with my oldest. He is built just like you. He is proud that you are his cousin. I miss you. I wish that I could tell you I love you again. I wish that your mom could wash away the pain that she feels in loosing you. reach out to her and let her know you are alright, please.

43. you are my daughter's kindergarden teacher. I am glad that she has you to help her love school. you keep up the great work, you have found your calling.

44. you are my favorite baseball player. I enjoyed watching you play when I was younger. You helped me to bond and become closer to my dad.

45. you were my first boyfriend. I often wonder what you are doing now. I know you were a congressional aide for a while. Hope what ever it is, you love it!

46. you were the first friend that I had who died. you were 13. you had dreams to become a doctor, I wonder if you would have become one.

47. you are my mom. you taught me right from wrong, spoiled me unmercifily, and then lied to me continuously about things that really didn't matter to me in my life. WHy? I am left with the task to take care of you, no one else will. I love you, I will take care of you, as I do, it is the right thing to do, you took care of me.

48. you were my godmother. you too spoiled me terribly. I enjoyed it, and I thank you for it. You passed away, and my mom didn't even know. your son left her out of the loop. I am sorry that we didn't get to day goodbye to you.

49. you were my parents good friends. you both have passed on now. I loved you both. It made me happy that you came to my wedding and that you made special efforts to see my parents, like the suprise for their 50th wedding anniversary, and for my dad's installation. Those were great suprises! I used to love going to your house, it was so big and rambling, and the basement was so old. The kitchen was so old too! It was a cool place to be while parents visited.

50. you were my brother. you are gone. I just don't understand how you could have thrown out what you had, for what? you manipulated and lied to get what you wanted in your last years. How could you turn your parents against their own grandchildren,and their children? That was wrong! I hope that you are not in a nice place. I can't forgive you for what you did to my relationship with MY father and MY mother.


There you have it! If anyone else wants to try this, go ahead! Let me know though, so I can go read it! This was soul searching and hard work,taking the better part of an afternoon. WHEW! Thanks Catherine, I feel good now.